03.03.2008
Yellow Men
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Okay, I can see all the women reading this article either laughing, shaking their heads in disbelief, or thinking that this must be a satire. No, ladies, it is not. Although I am a man and not in any way perfect, I feel compelled to offset the general rumors about our short-comings and write for all men that strive for perfection, myself included. In order to uncover the perfect man, one must first have a basic checklist. Assuming this article is directed more toward women than men, I'll begin with their perspective. Please note that the following criteria is in no particular order of importance. So here are some, if not all qualifications to be the perfect man.
- Be a good listener: It's not about YOU, it's about everyone else. Take the time to understand what is being said and allow the person to speak their mind without interruptions. You men will find that this is easier said than done.
- Be sympathetic: Also empathetic. After hearing what is said, try to recap and play back the important thoughts while putting yourself in their position. Try not to be too judgmental. Tap into your emotional side.
- Be affectionate. Again, this is for your significant other. A hug, a kiss, or a touch for no apparent reason other than to acknowledge that you care, can do wonders. Don't forget the. "I love you," as well. And remember, it's not all about sex.
- Be sexy and romantic: Okay, sometimes it's all about sex. Being sexy can be about romance, like candle-lit dinners that YOU make, surprise outings or vacations and other ways to set the mood. Then ask her what she likes you to do to her and go for it.
- Fix or repair stuff: You know; the broken toilet seat, the pealing paint on the front door, or the leaning shelf. Take the time to make you home a safe place for her and the kids. If you're not handy, learn to be or hire a handyman. Either way, demonstrate that you care about your habitat.
- Be on time: Keep that appointment or date. Check your watch and calendar. If anything, be early if you can. Being on time is another way to indicate that she's important to you. If you're always late, it just looks like you are a control freak, and that's not good. Timeliness is good trait.
- Dress nicely: Fine, you like to lounge around in that ten-year-old football shirt and tattered shorts. But try to look nice most of the time. Toss the holy clothes and update the wardrobe. Let her buy outfits for you that she would like to see you in. And then keep them clean. No one likes sweaty shirts or pants. No one.
- Go shopping: That means with her and for her. Take an occasional trip to the supermarket. Because she's a woman doesn't make her the local errand girl. If you're out of beer or milk, surprise her by shopping on the way home. And don't avoid the mall. She might enjoy your company and your advice on the things she buys. It's quality time together. Which brings us to...
- Spend more time together: Not just in front of the television. Take her out for a nice dinner or the movies. Plan a surprise weekend retreat away from the kids. Sign up for yoga classes or dance lessons. Try baking a cake together or any hobby or craft project. Be a couple, even at home.
- Be kind, thoughtful, and generous: Whether it's the way you treat the family dog, your mother-in-law, or that obnoxious neighbor, try to be more forgiving or more tolerant. If your wife spends too much, suggest getting more things on sale rather than cutting her off. Involve her in the budget and make her an economic partner. Be the best person you can be.
There are just ten ways to be a better man. Those of you reading this can probably come up with enough others to fill a file cabinet. But this article was intended to get you thinking. Some women I know will print it out and show it to their husbands with a "see, I told you so," note attached. That's fair and a good place to start. But I might suggest that you pick just one of these to begin with and work on that until it is mastered. That might just be the perfect way to create that perfect man.
Jeffrey Hauser was a sales consultant for the Bell System Yellow Pages for nearly 25 years. He graduated from Pratt Institute with a BFA in Advertising and has a Master's Degree in teaching. He had his own advertising agency in Scottsdale, Arizona and ran a consulting and design firm, ABC Advertising. He authored a book about his directory years, "Inside the Yellow Pages" which can be seen at his website, http://www.poweradbook.com and he is officially retired.
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