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Peer pressure impacts everybody at some point in time irrespective of how popular or close knit your friend circle is. This is probably what prompted Dennis Wolfberg to say, "There's one advantage of being 102. There's no peer pressure."
Peer pressure can manifest itself in many forms. And it can effect even very young children. Ms. Reza, mother of a three year old says, "I always thought that peer pressure is something that only teenagers had to cope with. But, I soon realized how wrong I was. "
"My three year old daughter was crazy about Barbie shoes. But after a few days she refused to wear them. When asked why, the child said because her friends said that they didn't like it. I was really baffled." This is a very simplified example. Things can get very complex.
It is important for us as parents to be aware of the fact that children begin to explore the various relationships they have relationship with the primary caregivers (parents), the peer group, the teachers etc. It is during this time they also figure out their individuality and where they stand in relationship with others.
As parents it is our duty to help children to have a solid set of values and unquestionable self-confidence. This will help them to be better decision makers. He will be aware of his own uniqueness and individuality. Therefore, the child will be better equipped to handle peer pressure. He will not be influenced to do or posses something just because everybody in the group does.
Now the question arises that is it alright for a child to be completely on his own? Well, the answer is obviously no. But, it is important for the child to be able to decide when it is alright for him to go with the group and when it is o.k to stand alone.
Rahul, a twenty three year old says when he joined college all the boys in his group had started smoking except Rahul. There was a lot of pressure from his group mates for him to start smoking as well. But Rahul stood his ground.
So, the pressure tactics changed from gentle persuasion to ostracizing from the group, name calling etc. But, Rahul kept his calm and stuck to his reply, "I don't enjoy smoking and I will not smoke."
After a few weeks he was still part of the group and still a non-smoker. So, if a child is given a sound set of values and has a healthy self-esteem he/she is better equipped to handle peer pressure effectively.
Develop a relationship with your child where he/she is free to approach you to discuss just about anything. Be the first one to bring up and discuss issues which are most likely to bother him at that age. This is especially important for teenagers.
Once the child is secure in his relationship with the most significant adults in his life, he is able to handle outside pressure well. Teach your child it is alright to say no if that's the way he/she feels about a certain issue. Even it means upsetting a good friend or even losing one.
Tell your children it is alright to say that they don't want to do a certain thing because their parents disapprove of such activity. Last but not the least, make yourself available for your children at all times!
Sangita Kanjilal writes extensively about matrimony-related issues including relationships, bridalwear, beauty, fashion and wedding planning. Her articles appear regularly on Bharatmatrimony.com, the world's largest matrimonial website and pioneer in online match-making with about 20 million members. BharatMatrimony recently launched EliteMatrimony.com, an exclusive matrimony website for the super-rich, celebrities, royalty and the who's who of society. Members of this premium service are assigned a personal relationship manager to take care of their every single need.
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