09.06.2010
Elegant Woven
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What do you think of this little story I wrote?
"There was once an incandescently beautiful fairy named Ella. She lived in a small cottage that was draped in a pink veil of cherry blossoms; submerged inside the velvety green depths of an enchanting forest."
That's the beginning of it obviously. I'm not sure what the title or the plot of it is, but I'm slowly percolating it. I'm kind of placing pieces of it together as I go along. Another part of the story is this:
"The elegant fairy, draped in folds of sparkly, white robes, hung over a misty black lake at twilight. She lithely wove herself herself through intricate ribbons of fog."
The words just came to me one day, and I thought about turning them into a story. What do you think? I'm 15, I'll be taking a writing class eventually to smooth it out.
The only way to describe it is like mixing different colours of paint together. It has the essence of darkness, tinged with sweetness 
I think it's pretty good. Like the person above me said, it's, perhaps, a little too...I can't quite name it, but a little too something.
You have a good vocabulary and you have a good bit of descriptive writing in there, which is good. It gives the reader a feel for where all this takes place.
You used draped twice, so maybe you would want to change one of them to hung or adorned to mix it up a little bit.
Other than those two little things, good job!
Have a good rest of the day!
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