Beautiful Silk Tie

How can you treat a sulfuric acid burn?
Nobody I know has had this happen to them. I have to write a paper on this question.
For my birthday my wife bought me a sky blue three piece leisure suit with a perma crease and a beautiful silk tie. I prepared at 5:00 PM for the 7:00 PM graduation ceremony for the class of 2000 of MPHS by donning this awesome present, of which my wife was very proud.
After I had dressed my wife strongly suggested that I run an errand to Cenex and pick up a large galvanized tub, 10 pounds of sodium hydroxide, and a 20-gallon carboy of distilled water. So being the dutiful husband I went and made the purchases. Driving home my F-250 pick up stalled. I got out and opened the hood and then the battery exploded and showered my leisure suit and skin with sulfuric acid.
How can I save my suit, my skin, virtue, marriage, and get to the graduation on time?
You would think that mixing NaOH with the acid would be a solution, but this presents several problems:
1. Dissolving sodium hydroxide in water releases large amounts of heat
2. Mixing sodium hydroxide with sulfuric acid releases large amounts of heat
3. Mixing sulfuric acid with water releases large amounts of heat
4. You and your suit would still be burning while you're mixing the NaOH with the water.
If you get sulfuric acid on you from a battery, the best thing to rinse it with is a sodium bicarbonate solution (baking soda in water) to neutralize the acid, then rinse with tap water for a few minutes. The next best thing is to just use plain water.
In your hypothetical situation, the best course of action is to quickly remove the suit and anything that has acid on it, and rinse your skin with the water. After that go to the hospital. If necessary, call an ambulance. You can't save the suit, and you can't go to the graduation. Attempting to save the suit using the lye would just turn bad chemical burns into life threatning, permanently disabling chemical burns.
Edit:
Well if your science teacher said it, then it must be true. After all, it's so hard to become a teacher in the USA, particularly in science.
Get a small amount of concentrated sulfuric acid (like in a lead acid battery) on your skin, then tell me that you can wait long enough to make a tub full of sodium hydroxide solution. The damage caused by sulfuric acid burns is severe and it just gets worse the longer it's on your skin. Sit around waiting for NaOH to dissolve (it takes a few minutes), and you'll just burn. On top of that, NaOH has a very high heat of solvation in water. Anybody who has ever prepared a solution of lye will tell you that the water heats up to near boiling almost instantly. I bet it would be really pleasant to douse your body in water that's about 200 degrees Fahrenheit.
And if you think you can save the suit, test your hypothesis. Take some acid from a battery and put it on a piece of fabric. See if the damage is fixable.
You can tell your teacher that he's an idiot. For me though, it was beneficial to have so many stupid teachers like him. They helped me pay my way through college tutoring the people they were supposed to educate, like you.
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